On this day, September 4th, exactly one year ago, we took the scariest, most exciting, thrilling and exhilarating leap of faith in our life. We moved to Europe. It’s been one whole year already. Looking back at my very first (very naive) post, I can’t believe that was only a year ago. “Only.” It feels world’s away.
This milestone day, surprisingly, has made my heart so heavy. I’m sad. All year I have tried really hard to be optimistic; to enjoy this experience as much as possible. (Duh.) And I really have enjoyed it. But I’ve also been doing everything I can to stay in touch with family and friends back home through a constant cycle of skyping and emailing; to stay relevant and present in their lives. It’s been a challenge. I haven’t stayed as close with some people as I would have liked to. Some have slipped. Others have surprised me and I feel closer to them now more than ever. Mostly, it has been a wonderful change. I’ve learned so much about the world and about myself. I’m thankful.
But I’m giving myself a break today. I’m homesick damn it. And we’re not going home for a visit until December. This day is a difficult reminder of some painful things. It’s been one year since I have given my sister a hug. It’s been one year since my brother has teasingly shoved me after one of his jokes. One year since I have seen many of our close friends & family. Today and many other days this year, that has made me cry. A lot. Knowing we’re missing out on impromptu dinners. Quick phone calls. Hugs. I think I can speak for both Jaro & myself when I say that is undoubtedly the hardest part about living abroad.
Obviously, this isn’t the first bout of homesickness I’ve experienced. It comes in waves. Today is a tidal wave. I’ve developed some remedies, however, that make it less painful. I can’t make this whole post a sob story, you know? I don’t roll like that.
Today, on the hardest day, this is what I’ll be doing to be happy:
Watching the picture montage our wedding photographer put together. I still cry when I watch this. At least it’s happy tears.
And just looking at all of our wedding pictures because they are amazzzzing.
Following that with some laughs by watching our wedding Smilebooth montage right after.
Skyping with friends… anyone around later?
Eating this. And drinking wine. Lots of wine.
Now a message to Jaro. My partner. I wrote something similar at our 6 month anniversary and I’d like to reiterate: We are getting through this together. We have each other. That is my greatest comfort. Our marriage has already been an incredible adventure; welcoming a transatlantic move, exploring
8 18 countries, and building a bond that gets stronger every day. I love you. And this extraordinary life that we get to share.
It may be “only” a year, but it’s a whole year. And it’s just the beginning.
If you’re still reading, thanks for letting me get that out. Need to vent today. This blog has been another source of cheerfulness knowing it keeps me connected to those who care. I love you all too.
I hope you get through this tidal wave of homesickness unscathed. I can definitely understand how seemingly innocuous dates and anniversaries can flood me with the same feelings.
Tomorrow’s a new day. 🙂
Sometimes you got to just nest into those deep lows and feel them all over… they are what make us human. Enjoy some yummy beer and ride it out! Before you know it, there will be a better-than-low and soon a high.
Love your blog, they make my day when they come into my in-box! 🙂
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